How to have the best Sunday in L.A., according to Matt Rogers

How to have the best Sunday in L.A., according to Matt Rogers

L.A. is not a Christmas town. Matt Rogers blames the weather.

“You go to anywhere that’s cold like Chicago — huge Christmas town — Boston, New York … you see Christmas happening and you feel that Yuletide sensation in the air and everyone gets a little nicer and a little jollier and a little happier,” he said. “Not here: L.A. is just L.A. every day.”

In Sunday Funday, L.A. people give us a play-by-play of their ideal Sunday around town. Find ideas and inspiration on where to go, what to eat and how to enjoy life on the weekends.

What the writer, actor and co-host of the “Las Culturistas” podcast observes is that Los Angeles is a town for celebrity cash grabs. Mariah Carey probably sleeps on a mattress stuffed with residual checks for “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” currently playing on the loudspeaker in every mall in America. In the 29 years since that song debuted, countless celebrities have attempted to crack the tricky Christmas music genre.

“Let’s be real, not all these pop stars actually have a passion for Christmas,” Rogers said. “Everyone is hoping to score that classic song that gets played every year so they can rake in the dollars and cents every year from the streams, the sales, everything. I just thought that was so funny.”

The intersection of opportunistic holiday records and seasonal awareness (or lack thereof) gave rise to “Have You Heard of Christmas?”, his comedy dance-pop album that debuts Friday. If Mariah Carey — who, to be clear, very genuinely does love Christmas — is the holiday’s queen, Rogers aspires to be its prince. Or maybe its joker. The song “Also It’s Christmas” is about the specific sexy-yet-solemn vibe in the club on Dec. 25. “Hottest Female Up in Whoville” explores the perspective of Christine Baranski’s character — a sexually charged but friendship-starved single woman, in Rogers’ telling — from “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.”

“My album sort of celebrates and drags Christmas at the same time,” he said.

The “Have You Heard of Christmas?” album tour makes snowfall — er, landfall — at the Ace Hotel on Dec. 21.

When Rogers isn’t touring or recording, he splits his time between his studio in Long Island City, N.Y., and his apartment in Hollywood’s Franklin Village. Here’s how he’d spend his perfect Sunday in L.A.

9:30 a.m.: Wake up and doomscroll

Let’s say we’re waking up between 9:30 and 10. You have to build in about 45 minutes to an hour of just being on your phone. Like, on your back, on the phone. It’s Sunday. I’m doomscrolling through Instagram, depending on whatever is going on in the world.

11 a.m.: Brunch at the Clark Street Diner

About 11, I’m getting to the Clark Street Diner. I’m hanging out with whoever the girls are that weekend. Probably the gays from the night before aren’t awake yet, which is fine.

I do my typical order of three scrambled eggs, smoked salmon, grapefruit and breakfast sausage. There’s not a carb on the plate because I’m probably going to get stoned later and eat carbs.

2 p.m.: Hike Griffith Park and catch up on podcasts

After I’m good and full at the Clark Street Diner, I’ll come back and get ready to go on a hike. I really do enjoy Griffith Park. It’s actually not too far from me.

So probably around, let’s call it 2 to 3:30, I’m getting a good ol’ sweaty little hike in. I usually hike by myself, which I know people say is not a great thing to do. I like to go on a hike and then listen to “The Daily”. I don’t listen to “The Daily” daily. I’ll just do it as a marathon session on Sunday.

So Michael Barbaro does soundtrack my Sundays when I’m on my hike. I’m hearing a lot of “hmmm!” I don’t know if you’ve ever listened to “The Daily” but Michael Barbaro, out of nowhere, will just go “hmmm!” when someone makes a point, which I think is very characteristic of him.

4 p.m.: Get stoned and write

I don’t want to be that kind of person that lies to you and says, “Now I’m starting to read!” No. Sunday is a day off. So I’ve stocked up on MedMen and I get stoned on Sundays. I try not to do it Monday through Friday, because we’re trying to grow up. Sunday is a weed day.

I do ultimately do some really good writing when I’m stoned. Sometimes. When I allow myself. It actually was a Sunday this year that I wrote a song on my album called “Rum Pum Pum,” which is, without getting too specific, it’s sort of my nasty pop girly song on my album. I did write that when I was high. And I think when people hear it, they’ll understand that this had to come from a high person. It’s basically about twinks in the club through the lens of the Little Drummer Boy.

7:15 p.m.: Order carbs on Postmates

This is a carbo load night, especially after you smoke some marijuana. So I’ll do a big Sunday pasta moment. Let’s call it like 7:15 because hopefully it arrives right before 8 and then I don’t have to feel too bad about eating dinner after 8 p.m. Because I am also the kind of person that likes to lie to myself and say I’m intermittent fasting, or eating healthy, but does that really count when you’re eating an absolute pound of pasta? Not really.

I’m going to go to my Postmates right now and tell you exactly what the deal is. I really do love a meat sauce. I’m a meat sauce person. I would say my top three foods that I would order, if it’s Italian, is gonna be pasta, and a meat sauce, like bolognese. Osteria La Buca. That’s my place.

If it’s not Italian food, it’ll be sushi. I can absolutely nail a spicy tuna roll. I love miso soup. I’ve really gotten into miso ramen lately. Starfish Sushi in Los Feliz has a seafood soup with actual crab claws in there.

Or if I’m being really bad, I’ll just go ahead and order Burger King. And I’ll do two double cheeseburgers. Or the nine-piece of chicken fries. I really wish this wasn’t about Sunday, because you’re gonna get me at my most teenager.

9 p.m.: Set the dial to Bravo

Sunday is of course the day of the Lord. I absolutely do not go to church. The only religious thing I do on Sunday is I watch “The Real Housewives of New York” and “Watch What Happens Live.” I don’t want to give Andy Cohen a god complex, but he’s certainly the only man in my life that I see every Sunday night.

11 p.m.: Skincare routine, soundscape app and sleep

I’ll try to do a little bit of my skincare and go to bed at 11 p.m. I’ve also gotten really into the Endel app. You turn it on and it creates a soundscape and they do a certain melodic — it’s supposed to be like you listen to it every single night and once you hear the melody, it’s supposed to hypnotize you almost. I’ve been really getting into that.

1:30 a.m.: Get home from Hot Dog at El Cid

Sunday night hopefully we get to bed at a reasonable time. Unless the gays convince me to go to Hot Dog, which is a party that’s over at El Cid. It’s one of those parties where you see every gay man in L.A., and usually I’ve gotten my fill on them from Friday and Saturday night, so I try to avoid that. But sometimes they can get me there and that is a good time. In which case, I’ll probably go to bed more like 1:30.

I really try to be an adult on Sunday. I really do. I don’t always succeed.

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